Remember the adage, “You can’t judge a book by it’s cover?” I think we’ve all found that to be true. When I think back on my brother’s death , this couldn’t be more evident. To the outside he appeared to have it all, but now I know 2 things. 1. Having it all doesn’t equal happiness, and 2. What others think or see about us is not always a true reflection of who we are. Going one step further, who we are is not always who we want to be. Recognizing the difference between the two is step number one to finding light.
So let’s look at how we change who we are into who we want to be. First, you have to believe this is possible. You may be thinking you’ve been trying to do this for a long time, and I agree. It seem futile on our own. BUT, today, I want you to realize that through the grace of God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit you are not alone, and you can do all things! The living word of God and the spirit that fills you will give you the strength and stamina to see this through.
We are what we think. Have you heard that before? Many psychological studies and papers have been written on this, but this truth has been around long before we were doing psychological studies. Read Proverbs 23:7, For as a man thinks in his heart, so he is. The word of God also says, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.” Mark 7:20-23. So, how do we change the fact that we are born with this and these thoughts have been reinforced for years inside our minds? First, begin to recognize the thoughts, behaviors and actions you are having. Observe what your mind is actually thinking about. Isolate them into thoughts, behaviors, and actions that feel healthy for you, and thoughts, behaviors, actions that you trend to bring you feelings of hopelessness, shame, doubt, anger. It may help you to write these down for a couple days. Journal some of the thoughts and actions that took place over your day, and what was the outcome of participation in them. This would be no easy task. It takes a vulnerable yet strong person to really begin to study themselves and call themselves out on the behaviors and tendencies they have that do not serve them well. I’m proud of you for considering this. Remember, you are here because you are ready to change your life by trying something new. Hiding our internal truths in darkness only allows them to grow deeper, strangling our hearts and minds. Exposing them to the light will give you an enlightened look at them and power to change them. When identifying and trending your thoughts, behaviors, and actions you’ll begin to realize they are typically reactions or protective actions against insecurities, fears, regrets.
Next, begin to categorize them. Which ones are related to the same fear, insecurity or regret. You will begin to see which ones affect you most frequently and that’s the one you want to target first. You are going to attack this erroneous, unhealthy belief by giving your brain a new way to think of it. We’ve all heard of mantras and meditations, right? So when you begin to experience that insecurity, behavior, or action you will tell yourself a mantra so to speak instead. A new belief, truth, straight from the living word of God. By trusting in the living word of Jesus Christ you can begin to change your noxious thinking into nurturing and fruitful thoughts.
I’ve tried to create a short list of versus for these exact moments to use as mantras or meditation – prayer. This list is by no means exhaustive. When you really rely on the word of God, so much more will be revealed to you. And that’s a promise from God. “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12.
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13
Anger: Psalm 37:8 reads, Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. And; Proverbs 15:1 reads, A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Fear/Anxiety: Matthew 6:34 reads, Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. And; Matthew 6:25 reads, Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, not about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
Pride: Proverbs 11:2 reads, When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. And; James 4:10 reads, Humble yourselves before the LORD, and he will exalt you.
Sexual Immorality: Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18. And; Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. Romans 13: 13.
Shame/Guilt: Psalm 25:2 reads, O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me. And; Psalm 32:5 reads, I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.
Forgiveness/Holding a grudge: Colossians 3:13 reads, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And; Matthew 6:14-15 reads, For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Doubt: Proverbs 3:5-6 reads, Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path.
Loneliness/Isolation: Psalm 27:10 reads, For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in. And; James 4:8 reads, Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Colossians 3: 12-15.
Remember, try something new. Just one a day, one day at a time. Through the grace of God you will be triumphant.
